Surprise, surprise...
People continue to surprise me. Last night, one of our friends, Tom, came over to hang out because he was leaving for Spain to teach English in a couple of weeks. In between packing up his entire life and seeing those he cared about, this would be our last chance to see him. He is more Jonathan's friend than mine, though we were on the same Cheerleading Team together and have swam together during our Freshmen Year.
I was hesitant at first when Jonathan told me that Tom was coming over; I expected the night to be extremely awkward. Let me explain a little something about Tom. Tom is practically the antithesis of me: he is not clean, he has dreads....long story short, Tom's a hippie. I didn't think I could talk to him about much.
While we were on the Cheerleading Team together, we became very close and have had many in-depth conversations, but, at the same time, I was heavily "medicated" during that part of my college years so striking a conversation was not exactly hard; I could have had a deep, meaningful conversation with a brick wall at that point, I was so baked. And since Tom no longer drinks and I stopped doing drugs a few years back, I was terrified to actually having a sober conversation with him. Was it going to be weird? Would we have things to talk about it? Would we find each other boring? Doubts became frequent visitors in my mind. For two days I brooded over this issue and have contemplated asking Jonathan to take him out to dinner instead of bringing him back home. But because Tom is a great friend of Jonathan's, I decided to keep my mouth shut, and Tom surprised me. Heck, I surprised myself. We ended up having a great time, had great conversations and Tom stayed overnight. As a matter of fact, Tom is actually still sleeping on our couch as I'm writing this.
I realize something: I am extremely quick to judge people, sizing them up and down by their appearances, their expressions, their mannerisms...etc. But what can I do? I grew up in an Asian household; it was expected of you to be judgmental. I guess to overcome that is to force myself into situations where I would initially feel awkward. Hmmm...confronting your fears...how original....
I was hesitant at first when Jonathan told me that Tom was coming over; I expected the night to be extremely awkward. Let me explain a little something about Tom. Tom is practically the antithesis of me: he is not clean, he has dreads....long story short, Tom's a hippie. I didn't think I could talk to him about much.
While we were on the Cheerleading Team together, we became very close and have had many in-depth conversations, but, at the same time, I was heavily "medicated" during that part of my college years so striking a conversation was not exactly hard; I could have had a deep, meaningful conversation with a brick wall at that point, I was so baked. And since Tom no longer drinks and I stopped doing drugs a few years back, I was terrified to actually having a sober conversation with him. Was it going to be weird? Would we have things to talk about it? Would we find each other boring? Doubts became frequent visitors in my mind. For two days I brooded over this issue and have contemplated asking Jonathan to take him out to dinner instead of bringing him back home. But because Tom is a great friend of Jonathan's, I decided to keep my mouth shut, and Tom surprised me. Heck, I surprised myself. We ended up having a great time, had great conversations and Tom stayed overnight. As a matter of fact, Tom is actually still sleeping on our couch as I'm writing this.
I realize something: I am extremely quick to judge people, sizing them up and down by their appearances, their expressions, their mannerisms...etc. But what can I do? I grew up in an Asian household; it was expected of you to be judgmental. I guess to overcome that is to force myself into situations where I would initially feel awkward. Hmmm...confronting your fears...how original....
posted by Max E Pad at
9:53 AM
1 Comments:
Your judgemental-ness is part of your wit and appeal. It would not be as fun to walk down a city street with you and not hear a comment on every Tom, Dick and Sally that walks by. That being said, judging people is different from being closed-minded. You being able to have a great night with Tom despite your judgements is such proof. So fear not, dear Howard, and judge on...
By
Jeanne, at 12:37 PM, August 21, 2006
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