Like, Oh My Gawd, Like

We're, like, totally awesome. BFF 4 EVA. Hell yeah.

As I was combing through mounds of crap accumulated from eons ago this past weekend, what I came across was nothing short of amusing - my old HS journal. Even though it only contained three measly entries, it was more than enough to have me rolling on the floor with laughter (ROFL, for old time's sake). It wasn't so much the content, but the Jappy-Long-Island-tone. I have included excerpts from the journal for your enjoyment.

certain names have been omitted for anonymity sake, all others (including grammatical and spelling mistakes) have been kept in its original form

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March 24, 1998
Dear Diary,
Boy... *sigh* ... what a day! So tired yet at the same time, I was a hyper this morning. I meaning, so much is going on Today, me and ##### got into one of those "mother-of-all" fights. It's like WW III! Okay, so here's the story, #####'s bra was unhooked by this mother-of-all-pervert, Mike Goldmocker, and when ##### told Mike to hook it up for her, he felt her up! Now that is just sad, I mean like, Mike can't find another girl to feel up but her?! Okay, let's not be mean here, but since ##### "was" one of my best friend, I went up to Mike and was like "I heard what happened, keep ur hands to urself!" That's all I said and he just, like, played dumb. I was like "whatever" and left...##### found out and blew up in my face, but I really dont' care, I mean, I don't really wana be friends with her anymore. She gets on my nerves a lot, always making me carry her guilt trips. Today, I was just like whatever & we're not friends!
PS - I think Tanya likes me.

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July 13, 2000
Dear Diary,
What a day. Camp's awesome. This kid, Andrew Lynch, is the most adorable kid in the world. I love that kid so much. Anyway, the purpose of this entry is b/c of hate and anger. My ##### is the biggest BITCH in the world....Let me tell you about what happened today ~
at like 8:00pm or something, Judy, Vicky, Stephanie and I went to hang out and stuff. So to be like whatever, I told them that I was tired and I wanted to get home, so I called. My stupid ##### picked up the fuckin' phone and was lke blah blah blah blah I don't want you to hang out with friends on weeknights b/c of camp. that gets me so madd fuckin' bitch who the fuck does she thinks she is fuckin' asshole. I hate her. She never lets me out. She's the devil and she is hell. That's why I'm not afraid of hell b/c I live IN HELL. Anyway, I'm tellin' her that I'm not taking the job the "counselor" is offering me.

PS - I HATE HER

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Yeah, like, I'm so glad I don't, like, talk, like that anymore. It's, like, totally embarrassing. Totally. Okie I'm outty.