Tennis....Woe is I

Today's entry will somewhat deviate from the rants and raves about my favorite person in the whole wide world. The reason for it is because, last night, I had an eye-opening experience.

I have been playing tennis for a long time now and have always considered myself to be very good. I was 4th single in high school for God's sake. But all that cockiness flushed right out of my system when I played with my tennis partner that I had just met on the courts two days ago; his name is Tom, a Mormon from Utah.

Tom was not only good, he has mastered the top spin on all of his serves which sends all of his balls come flying at my head at top speed making it extremely hard to return. I managed, but hardly. I really think luck had a lot to do with winning some points against him last night. The way he gripped his racquet is like no other I have ever seen. Usually it's either the Continental grip or the Western grip, but his was somewhat inbetween making his returns and shots extremely hard to predict and calculate. Needless to say, he was extremely, EXTREMELY good.

Well, besides the tennis, Tom was a very interesting person, but last night (our first time playing tennis) was almost like a first date. It's very odd. While volleying around before the start of our set, we talked about who we are, where we went to school, what we do...etc. Not knowing anything about the Mormon religion, I stepped on every one of his toes. I curse like a sailor, which I did last night with a lot "fuck"'s and "shit"'s and "bitches"''s and the likes; I drink like a fish, which when I was asked what area of town I like to venture out to on the weekends, I said "Anywhere where there is alcohol", and every few sets or so, I had to stop and tell him that "my tar filled lungs need a break."

"What is so weird about that?" you ask. Well, "Nothing," I thought at the time until I came home and told Jonathan about it. Apparently Mormons, get this, don't (or rather, can't) drink, smoke, or like gay people. Also, on top of all that, they despise cursing. Great. Every one of their petpeeves enbodies the essence of Howard Lee. I think I might have just lost my one and only tennis partner.... Not to mention he CREAMED (okay, all you pervs, and by pervs I mean Jeanne, NO PUNS INTENDED) me last night. Other than Lady Luck, several other points I won were either from technicality or from him letting me win ("That ball? Oh it wasn't out...what, it landed in the other court? no way, it was totally in"). Yes, I was mortified. I think he might want someone more.....morally upstanding... I was dumped after the first date.

Who would have thought a Mormon had time inbetween missionary work (which he did do in the Philippines, by the way) to master tennis and golf and swimming and kayaking and wall climbing...etc. I guess when you don't drink or smoke, you have a lot of time on your hands.